Ficlet: Hoped for too much - S/X - G

[druffine]

„Hey Spike! Good work! Thanks for the help. I had never had all the furniture inside without you. You are strong, man!”

 

“No problem, whelp. What are friends for? Tell me if you need help again, don’t have to do anything anyway.”

 

“Yeah, will do! Have to shower now, man, I reek! See you later. Thanks again. Bye!”

 

Walking away with a silly grin on my face. Needed. I was needed. He was happy to have me around. Found a place, even when only for a few hours, but maybe it grows and some day he’ll ask me over for just a beer, for just hanging out. Soon, I hope.

Damn, forget my cigs.

 

The backdoor is open and I walk in, whelp will be in the shower. I will just grab my…

 

“Yeah, party tonight… yeah, in my new apartment… I had some help with the big pieces… yeah, everything ready. So you come around? About eight? … Yeah, bring Dawn. … Sure, Giles, the whole gang, yeah … Bye! See you later!”

 

“Oh Spike, hey. You forgot your cigs. They are on the counter. Thanks again, never managed to do it this fast without you! See you on patrol. Not tonight but... I really have to shower now! Later!”

 

Clank. Door closed. On the outside. Again.

 

Have I really hoped for more than just giving what I can for him, for them? Have I really hoped to get something in return. Shaking my head. I am too damn old to fall in this illusion of friendship. I am through too damn much…

 

Back to my crypt, alone and dark. Pretending, I never helped the whelp. Pretending nothing changed, always alone. It’s easier to bear if you never experienced the delights of hope but…

 

It hurts too much sometimes.