This one goes out...

[druffine]

I cleaned out a cupboard of mine today. Had to go through the stuff, sort it, throw somethings away... I dreaded to do it. I wasn't sure why especially.

Well, after two hours of reliving memories triggered by the what felt like hundreds of mementos I found between that stuff I know why.

Little pieces of paper, some with words, some with only single letters on them but they meant - no still mean - so much to me. Words I wrote, words others wrote and I hate my nearly perfect recall of all those little scenes around these paperslices, hate to be able to feel the joy from these times again as if it just happens and then the dissapointment when I looked around and found myself alone - no one there to tell the story to, to laugh about the past, the memory of how they left me back when they found people more ... suitable for themselves, when they started to figure out how honest and deep my feelings can be and started leaving when I showed them what they are capable of. I am glad they spread their wings and found their own way, glad I could help, guide, push them a bit in direction of goals they didn't know they had... I just wish that... well, anyways.

I'll go chat now, meet the one or two people out there who actually care that I love them.

Comments

It is sad

[crimsonsenya.livejournal.com]

You really put it beautifully, the bittersweet feeling of loss. Love is to be able to let the loved one go, but still I know it hurts like hell! One thing similar that i've personally found painful is the fact that sometime you meet some special person and you share your thoughts and a piece of your heart and then you are separated and you'll most probably never meet again.

[druffine.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know that feeling when you lose a special person like that.
*sighs*
I am better. Don't worry.
Miss you online.