sick cycle

[druffine]

23th entry,
5th line
"You've just prevented your heart from being corrupted."



I was at my moms and guess what I thought some kind of miracle happened.
She asked me about what I am doing and such, which she never does since I told her I write slash.
I was almost happy before she started making fun of every bit I said.
And I didn't even realized it from the beginning, kill me, I am so naive, overwhelmed by her sudden interest and happy about it. Feeling... loved accepted for like the first time ever and then she does that - making fun of my work and my apartment and my activities at the puter, my chat-friends and my website and my person and my live in general - and my dad was laughing over every fucking comment she made and yes it fucking hurt.

I want to get myself drunk than cut myself until the pain makes me sober again.
And then I am going to cry I think. Whatever. Nevermind.

She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn the crown of thorns

She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son

she should have made her mother proud
She should have stood out in a crowd
She should have had another chance
She should have fallen on her stance

(x2)
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son




She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn the crown of thorns

She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son
She should have-been a son


Nirvana - Been A Son